Sick of being picked last as a beer pong partner and getting blackout drunk 2 minutes into the game? Stress no more, because we’ve hunted down tips from the creme de la creme of ‘pongers to help you crush Brendan with the Southern Cross tattoo once and for all.

 

1. Choose your partner wisely

 

Although we all hate being picked as a last resort, picking the perfect partner is crucial. Hand-eye coordination is a massive component to set you up for winning in a game of beer pong, so it’d be smart to pick an athlete familiar with the skills. We’re not saying you need a Kobe Bryant, but upper-body-sports-players are priority. A lot of professional beer pong champs are 6 foot and over, too, so it turns out size does matter after all.

 

2. Strengthen your team

 

It’s important to prep your team for success: pep talks and strategy plans are great for a team huddle, but so is doing a bit of pre-drinking, pre-game if you will. Have a few drinks to settle your nerves and get rid of the edge, but don’t go too hard too fast or you’ll end up sending all the balls into the neighbour’s yard. At least an hour before the game begins, start your prep for the optimal winning mindset.

 

3. Practice makes perfect

 

Don’t be scared to practice your shots whilst everyone’s watching Nathan projectile vomit on the front lawn, take every opportunity you can to get into the habit of being the best.

 

4. Shoot your smartest shot

 

Don’t aim too high to start with, or you’ll spend too much time focusing on landing the one sole cup. Although it seems kind of obvious to shoot for what’s closest, we’re all familiar with the feeling of thinking you’re indestructible after 3 consecutive wins, but being down 2 full rows whilst trying to show off with the hardest shot.

 

5. Trash talk to the top

 

Look, we don’t condone cheating or tampering to win the match. Although, a little bit of trash talk isn’t against the rules, right? Just make sure you have a list of comebacks to avoid post-roast-embarrassment which could ultimately lose you the match.

 

Pair your new beer pong Bible with a full length, black label table to show your mates you won’t be confined to merely the match ball collector.